Why do “ex-gay” men experience challenges with intimate connection?

Q & A’s published in the Vision Magazine April 2012  

Because I don’t think there is something like an ex-gay person. There might be an ex-gay lifestyle and activities, but in my experience as a counsellor, I have seen that a homosexually-orientated person has a lifetime struggle with their thoughts, desires, and sexual identity, much as an alcoholic will always need to fight the temptation to drink again.

And because there is still an inner struggle that is going on in the closet, it makes it extremely difficult for a person to focus on their current heterosexual lifestyle.

It is like an ex-gay-lifestyle person has described to me: “it feels like I am living someone else’s life.”

I want to reiterate that homosexuality will be, for many, a lifelong struggle, and therefore as Christians, we should not turn our backs on struggling homosexuals when they don’t change the moment they were prayed for. We must not allow our discomfort to cause us to reject a person seeking help. Adding rejection to the person’s struggles will not help them find peace.

©Gesonde Seks, Timothy Kieswetter 2012

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